“Life is an experiment, not a test.” As a high-achieving high school student, I hadn’t always approached life by these words, but hearing this perspective from a mentor during my gap year marked a transformation in my mindset, allowing me to live with curiosity and purpose as I navigate post-secondary education. As it turns out, exploration is often more fulfilling than perfection.

My High School Experience: Pressured by Possibilities

People used to tell me I could do nearly anything and succeed. I fully recognize how privileged I was to receive that kind of encouragement and to be supported enough to fulfill my academic potential. Yet, as a high-stress high school student, that message morphed into something more daunting: “If you don’t excel in life, you must have done something wrong. Choose wisely.” The limitless possibilities quickly became a heavy burden, and rather than inspiring me to chase my dreams, they deepened my anxiety about a future I had yet to figure out.

Although I assumed I would go straight to university after high school, I never had my heart set on a specific career or program. For a while it was interesting to browse post-secondary catalogs, websites, and resources to explore the many options that are out there; however, the excitement vanished once real decisions were on the horizon. I simply had no idea how to decide which program to pursue. I had always felt connected to the arts and humanities, yet I had also succeeded in the math and sciences. I labeled myself as indecisive and used it as a shield everytime I found myself in the “what comes after high school” conversation.

“Life is an experiment, not a test.” As a high-achieving high school student, I hadn’t always approached life by these words, but hearing this perspective from a mentor during my gap year marked a transformation in my mindset, allowing me to live with curiosity and purpose as I navigate post-secondary education. As it turns out, exploration is often more fulfilling than perfection.

My High School Exoerience: Pressured by Possibilities

People used to tell me I could do nearly anything and succeed. I fully recognize how privileged I was to receive that kind of encouragement and to be supported enough to fulfill my academic potential. Yet, as a high-stress high school student, that message morphed into something more daunting: “If you don’t excel in life, you must have done something wrong. Choose wisely.” The limitless possibilities quickly became a heavy burden, and rather than inspiring me to chase my dreams, they deepened my anxiety about a future I had yet to figure out.

Although I assumed I would go straight to university after high school, I never had my heart set on a specific career or program. For a while it was interesting to browse post-secondary catalogs, websites, and resources to explore the many options that are out there; however, the excitement vanished once real decisions were on the horizon. I simply had no idea how to decide which program to pursue. I had always felt connected to the arts and humanities, yet I had also succeeded in the math and sciences. I labeled myself as indecisive and used it as a shield everytime I found myself in the “what comes after high school” conversation.

At the time I was riddled with uncertainty and questions: does a history of academic achievement imply a particular future? Would it be a waste not to go into STEM? Would I regret not pursuing the topics I was most curious about? How can I live up to my expectations of myself, and the expectations others had for me? What if I get it wrong?

By Grade 12, I was so paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice about my future that I couldn’t bring myself to choose anything. After considerable stress and deliberation, I decided to defer my decision and take a gap year instead.

My Gap Year Experience: A Journey of Purposeful Exploration

I began researching gap year programs, and once again I realized how many opportunities were out there. This time, however, the choices didn’t feel paralyzing – they felt freeing and relieving. My parents, who had been extremely supportive through my decisions and uncertainties, helped me think through what my gap year could be: not a “year off,” but a year to recharge and grow in new ways.

That’s when I found Discover Year, a structured, purposeful gap year program. In the program, I discovered more about myself and the world around me than I ever had before through skills workshops, coaching, multiple part-time jobs, community projects, and an awesome solo backpacking trip. Each week, we had the chance to meet and speak with mentors – professionals in a wide range of fields, with diverse paths through life, all successful in their own ways. During one conversation, a mentor shared a simple phrase that stuck with me: “Life is an experiment, not a test.”

Having grown up excelling in a test-driven environment, and having freshly stepped away from it, this idea resonated deeply. It made sense – tests focus on assessment of learning, while experiments foster learning through discovery. In life, each experience can provide insights that shape who we are, and we can adapt based on our findings.

I went into Discover Year hoping to find some sense of direction and learn some relevant life skills along the way. I ended up getting what I hoped for and more. I left my gap year with a sense of purpose that went beyond choosing a university major. My mindset shifted from needing to be perfect to letting myself explore, embrace failures, and learn from them.

It became much easier to decide on a university program once I understood that decisions aren’t necessarily right or wrong. By embracing my natural strengths and tuning into the topics that genuinely piqued my curiosity, I decided to pursue Communications and Sociology at the University of Ottawa, with the knowledge that I was not locked in for life. This was a next step, not a final destination.

My University Experience: Learning to Adapt

This new mentality has made all the difference in post-secondary, easing my anxieties about the future and enriching my academics. Each year, I’ve strived to try new things and adapt based on the things I learned. I’ve sought out courses that cultivate my various areas of curiosity, often taking classes that are outside of my regular “suggested” course sequence. This has resulted in me rediscovering interests I had when I was younger and discovering new ones. It was a one-off introduction course in Python Programming that sparked my interest in computer science and its many applications to the humanities. I’m now in my final semester, and since first year, I’ve switched out of Sociology, began pursuing a minor in Computer Science, started the CO-OP program, withdrew from the CO-OP program, and persevered with Communication. All of these decisions came with a great deal of reflection, contemplation, and eventually peace, as I now understand that this is all part of the process.

I could not have known to choose to study Communication and Computer Science before my gap year with Discover Year. In fact, neither field was even on my radar in high school. I needed to start somewhere and embrace uncertainty. I used to put so much pressure on myself to have it all figured out, but now I see that “figuring it out” is an ongoing part of life.

In high school, I was a test-taker. I’m proud of myself for striving for excellence, but my perfectionism brought overwhelm instead of empowerment from the endless possibilities.

During my gap year, I was an explorer. For the first time, failures didn’t seem like the end of the world, and I could try things without knowing where they would lead.

In university, I have been an adapter. Tests serve their purpose, giving me a benchmark to work towards and insight for improvement, but they are not my purpose. Instead, I can be creative and intentional about how I learn. As a result, my post-secondary journey has been dynamic and unexpected, rather than a rigid path to success.

I’m so grateful for the family, peers, and educators who encouraged me in the midst of fear and helped me recognize that post-secondary is largely what you make of it. Life is an experiment, and I hope my story can help illuminate the value of curiosity and the power of exploration in post-secondary.